Does a buffet count as one food?
If I could only eat three things for the rest of my life they would be fajitas because they remind me of Lauren and the night we found out Michael Jackson had died and I was weirdly happy because we had such a nice night. Secondly I would have tequila because it reminds me of Danielle’s suggestive tequila dance which is sensual as a snake in a halter top. Thirdly it would be skittles. The only food up to now which I have literally developed a physical dependence on. It was year ten, the year of pain killer addiction and skittles. Oh the memories.
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- Secret to Eating at a Buffet Without Stuffing Yourself (xblivingnaturally.wordpress.com)
Beauty is in the filing of your folder
I am a strange person in that one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen is a tightly and neatly divided lever arch folder. It was in college obviously, and my then girlfriend plonked it on to the desk when we were studying together. I gazed at the rainbow of the colour coding and fell in love with her just a little more. I place organisation high on the list of good things. I enjoy buying new folders; i sit them on my lap and spend hours caressing each leaf as I carefully file it. Give me a fresh lever arch file and dividers and I will organise the world.
Million dollar makeover
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If I won the lottery I would make it so that I never had to leave my room again. Butlers would bring me brand new paperbacks and let me bend the spines indulgently. They would furnish me with fresh and crispy toast but go away when it gets to the sad parts because I can’t cry when people are watching. I shall become a slob because honestly it is an ambition of mine. I would love to never have to lift a finger, and not because I am a lazy teenager. I would use it in the worst way possibly, to fund my bad habits. And to pay people to be happy about it.
The K. family jewels
The only sort of familial culture we have in my family is the tendency to raise our children to believe they are the best sort of person in the world. A K. child will be raised on Sartre and Camus. It will be painfully self aware, and champion this as a sort of medal to other children it meets. A K. Child doesn’t believe it is a child; they are treated as equals from a young age. Consequently, every child of our family is completely baffled by its peers. What do you mean you haven’t read Salinger? Self perpetuating superiority complex. Ha! You probably can’t even spell it.